Hating on the Grave

EDH is a necromancer’s playground. All those huge creatures just waiting to be milled, discarded, or board-wiped into a shallow grave.  

Beyond the usual fat, multiplayer EDH also makes a whole family of ‘goyfs and ‘vores much more powerful than they usually are, and I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s seen lord of extinctions that weren’t even worth counting (“lets just say if he hits you you die”). Flashback cards also get pretty good mileage with the longer games and higher mana counts, and most green decks will be packing genesis and eternal witness.

What is the discerning planeswalker to do?

Well, the gold standard, and a card that probably belongs in every non-reanimator deck in the format is relic of progenitus. 

Forget the first ability, just play it as a card that reads 2: foil the plans of everyone else (for now), draw a card.

But for those with more refined tastes, might I suggest one of my old-favourites from Alliances:

You could probably throw Time Spiral, Timetwister and Time Reversal in here too, although in those cases you won’t get the high-five factor of running a card from Alliances.

The beauty of diminishing returns is that it goes so much farther than mere graveyard hate. It rewards those who blew their hands with a complete disregard for card advantage, and punishes the misers who have been hoarding answers and threats waiting for the perfect moment. With this little gem in your hand you can actually play aggressively, dropping threats all over the place and blowing things up with wreckless abandon, and as your opponents wonder what the heck you are thinking you tap 4 mana and shout “SURPRISE!” - rarely does blue get to have this sort of fun!

Anyone who happens to be mana screwed or sitting on a bad hand will love you, and since graveyard hate is so hard to come by you might even get props for stopping that mimeoplasm from coming out next turn. Heck, you can even knock out lord of extinction and mortivore altogether!

Graveyard hate is usually marginal, inefficient, or boring. While the relic is always a good call it isn’t a particularly deep or interesting card. For a good time, call diminishing returns.

Macaroni or Cheese?

Like you even need to ask! This card is pure macaroni. Its unexpected, versatile, puts the kaibosh on all manner of nuisance cards, and gives everyone a fresh 7 to look at.